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Subject:Farewell.... sort of.
Time:10:34 pm
My journal has moved to http://www.xanga.com/gerbilthecat

Go there and marvel at my Placebo obsession.

Comes across all shy and coy... just another Nancy boy.
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Current Music:Defying Gravity-Wicked
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Subject:(Flop like a fish Malory)
Time:05:52 am
Current Mood:complacentcomplacent
Reasons to get over Kyle:

1. He's been the only guy that I could consider feeling anything for, and that's been for over a year now.
2. I have been willing to change every aspect of myself to get his attention, even while knowing it's stupid to change yourself for a guy.
3. I've considered naming a cat after him. An effing CAT!!!!!
4. It wouldn't have worked out anyway... we're too different.
5. He's found another girl.

Reasons not to be depressed about it:

1. "There won't ever be anyone exactly like Kyle, but I promise there will be somebody that will make you feel like Kyle did." -Daniel
2. I have felt the most amazing feeling for a year.
3. He's happy.
4. I'll be happy soon.
5. He's not the only male in this world.

And I'm also making a new journal. Believe it or not, this username was made in his honor(don't ask).
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Current Music:O Sifuni Mungu by First Call
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Subject:meh.
Time:04:51 pm
Current Mood:confusedconfused
When I was 10, I had a nosebleed at school. I went into the girls' bathroom and wrote "IT" on the wall with my blood. Everyone thought I was depressed. I wasn't. I was sexually abused, angry, and a little homicidal, but I wasn't depressed. In 7th grade, I made a pathetic attempt to kill myself. In the 8th grade, I tried it again, this time I was serious. They threw me in a mental facility for 5 days. I hated happy people. In 9th grade, I despised the media, I didn't like cheerleaders, I hated men, I thought I was a lesbian. Everyone thought I was this weird obese girl who was going to blow up the school or something. Now, I'm not so obese anymore. That was the old me. I've lost 35 pounds, and I thought about trying out for pom. This is the new me. And it's all because of Kyle. Now, everyone sees me as this cute little girl who squeaks randomly that has a crush on an upperclassman. I'm the exact opposite of what I was two years ago.

Who am I?
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Subject:Sexy emu.
Time:02:38 am
Today was a nice day. ^_^ Jaclyn visited our choir today!! She was one of the Seniors last year, she sings beautifully. She didn't appear to be wearing any makeup, and she looked prettier without it, I thought. Or at least prettier in person than in pictures. She spoke with Mrs. Mechling about the choir, and found it amusing that one of the guys in the choir was now a bass, because in Junior High he was a Soprano. Hah. Erin got elected President of our choir, I think. Joel got elected Vice President. I voted for Sarah, because she's friggan adorable, and Joel seems very persnickety. Brian rehearsed with his band today for See You At The Pole on Wednesday. He has a great voice. I was stunned.

Brian: (holding guitar) And now, our next selection will be... "Salvation." And it's about... salvation.

Well, it seemed amusing at the time. o_0

Honors World History is great. The other day, Mrs. Pafford said that we were all going to be Ancient Chinese Scribes, and she handed out paper, and we painted Chinese symbols(she gave us paper with the instructions on how). Did you know that the Chinese written language is completely different than the spoken language?
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Current Music:Beethoven Day-You're a Good Man Charlie Brown
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Subject:hello
Time:09:38 pm
This is my post about nothing. Geraniums are sexy.
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Subject:Yabba dabba dabba doo da
Time:04:47 pm
Hey Kiddos.

That's right, I just said "kiddos." Our jazz choir has a concert on October 5th! I can imagine these two guys in the class as the two soloists. Their names are Brian and Brandon. Brian was so funny today in class, it was difficult to sing. I kept cracking up. His eyes are two different colours and the brown one is so cool. The pupil is really weird. It's friggan awesome. ^_^ I wonder if she'll have any girl solos.

There's this project that our teacher assigned us for Honors World History. It's called Global Oklahoma, and I'm going to do a project on Greece(I think it's possible that I'll pair up with Heather). It's on October 2nd. This is gonna be SO MUCH FUN. We can't have food of any sort, which kinda sucks, but oh well. I could always run a booth that day, because she gave us that option, and it would be really neat. I would get to wear a costume and everything. Like this:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=63861&item=5319663071&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

This one might fit me, I dunno about the polka dots though:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=63861&item=5319323772&tc=photo

That would be really big on me though. o_0

Talking with Daniel always leaves me in a good mood. It's nice to have an older guy friend that I can look up to and talk to, and have it never get awkward because we both know that I know we're just friends. It's a nice feeling. Look at these skirts my mom bid on ebay for me:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=11479&item=5319205025&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=63864&item=5319808002&rd=1

The other day at school was Decade Day. Not many people participated, but Angie and Jackie wore dresses from the 80's... it was SO cute. =)
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Subject:Meh.
Time:11:29 am
Current Mood:complacentcomplacent
I had a talk with Daniel last night. For those of you who don't know, Daniel is a guy friend of mine that I look up to very, very much. He said some things that really got me thinking... how Kyle could be a completely different person, as he's been a camp counselor all summer. I guess he's right, but I don't see how that could change him. This isn't over yet. *determined look*

Well, on Friday, it was the first time the pom girls and cheerleaders went to school in their uniforms. Vicki and Laura worked on their routine during third hour(jazz choir), and they looked adorable as usual. CATV(a weekly news program run by the Broadcasting students at our school) was hilarious. The old teacher was gone, and they got the Junior High teacher to come up, but no, it was still hilarious. I was happy. Daniel was on it! Which is funny, because he graduated last year. They said "Daniel, you aren't supposed to be here" and he was all "Huh?" it was great.

We're doing a musical. Hooray!! The auditions are in September, and we will be performing it in October. Mrs. Mechling(our jazz choir teacher) won't tell us what we're doing yet, but she said that her and Mrs. Gassman(the new drama/broadcasting teacher) have an idea on what they would like to do. She said that it was a musical that's well-known, and has a really big cast. I'm suspecting Godspell, because that's what Mr. Parker(last year's drama/broadcasting teacher) and Mr. Carrillo(last year's jazz choir teacher) were talking about doing. That would be awesome.

This guy in my Algebra II class named Joel has a cute smile. ^_^
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Subject:Hmmm
Time:05:35 am
Well, I changed my Human Relations class to Psychology. Psychology is a lot more interesting, and I think it will be of much more help than Human Relations, considering that I might want to be a psychiatrist eventually. It depends on what scholarships I'm able to get. Otherwise, I'll go into musical theatre or become a writer.
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Current Music:In My Own Little Corner-Cinderella
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Time:01:46 am
Current Mood:chipperchipper
Well, my other egojournal decided to eff up, and my secret tabulas isn't working at all. *le sigh* So here I am, at 1:49 am and I have school in a few hours. Oh well, at least I've gotten all of my Algebra II homework done. The others should be easy. Here's what happened on my first day of school:

First Hour-
Algebra II A girl I really don't like is in that class. We sit right next to each other, too. I swear if she gets an attitude with me I'm going to pull on her nappy hair. >.< And as for the teacher herself, I get the impression that she isn't going to explain things very well. She kind of just assigned us the problems to do in the book, and told us to do them. But she DOES help us whenever we get confused about a certain problem, and most of that stuff was review work anyway. She seems nice. To get an A in this class, I think I'm gonna need tutoring. At least the book explains things well enough for me to understand it.

Second Hour-
Honors World History This class is gonna be awesome. I can tell already. For one thing, my friend Heather sits right next to me. The teacher is awesome. She pointed to the front row, and she said that they were to rule, because that's the way it was back then. She described them as "Pharoahs, Kings..." etc. The second row, she described as "The Wise Ones." They were highly educated, and spend all day reading and writing, she says. She said to the first row, "You cannot read. You are not educated. It is NOT your job to be educated!!" I'm in row 5... oh boy. I'm a peasant. I work all day in the hot hot sun. Heather is in row 6--she's a slave or a surf. Ha ha. She's lucky, she doesn't have to pay taxes and I do. Grrr. :-P She told us to write a paragraph about our row and what we do. It's due at the beginning of class. This is gonna rock.

Third Hour-
Vocal Jazz We have a new teacher this year, and she made a great first impression on me. She made us scat, heehee. She seems fun. We went over the rules, did warm-ups, and she told us that we're doing a musical! But she said she didn't know which one yet, because the drama teacher hasn't made up her mind or something. I can't be in Advanced Drama, because it's the exact same period as Jazz Choir! How STUPID is that?! Most choir kids want to be in drama! Stupid counselors.

Fourth Hour-
Human Relations This class seems a bit sketchy to me. The teacher seems alright, but... meh. We'll see how it goes. She gave us this little worksheet to fill out on what we think Human Relations should cover. Like she doesn't know? Silly woman. There's a possibility that we could be working with first graders. Oh joy. I like children, but I don't think they like me all that much. -_-
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Current Music:Queenie Was a Blonde-The Wild Party
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Subject:Denny's Menu
Time:04:25 pm
Current Mood:optimisticoptimistic
http://www.salon.com/sept97/news/news970912.html

Hahaha. I can't believe that this Atkins diet is being taken so much into account--when he died, he had clogged arteries and was 50 pounds overweight. Shouldn't that clue you people in?! *shakes head*

Yesterday was semi-fun. Stacy and Sara came over, and she brought me a Jones Cream Soda and it was really good, Stacy brought Chee-tos puffs, and they were good, and I had a frozen Reese's cup. For some reason, I only like those when they're frozen. Anyhow, Sara and Stacy put up sheets on my wall and we took pictures of her being a model, and Sara yelled at me like she usually does, because I'm a screw-up and can't do anything right. Then she lost her keys, and we ended up having to look for them for an hour, and when she found them, they were under the lamp shade. I looked at the pictures she took of me. They didn't come out as bad as I thought they were :) I got a new Idina Menzel icon(another one that darling Malory made), because Sara got mad that I "stole" her pink one(that Malory made and put on her website), even though I had it before her. WTF?

I'm going to Walgreen's today to get my picture taken for my audition(s?) on Sunday. I think my mom and I could work out auditioning for both The Sound of Music AND my church choir, because one audition is from 1:00 pm to 5:00 pm, and the other audition is from 2:00 pm to 6:00 pm.

I just weighed myself and I'm 160 pounds. I WAS 155. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm going to attempt to work out for 4 hours today, and try for 4 tomorrow, and do 2 every day until school starts.

On a lighter note, I bought The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. It's great!! I like it a lot.
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[icon] They say that I have the best ass below 14th Street
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
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